Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
