it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
