dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
