Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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