Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
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