I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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