Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
love makes seman taste better
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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