I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
