There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
