scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
