I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize