similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
