Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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