he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
