benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize