so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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