For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
