so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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