i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
