i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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