I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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