He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
