This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
