I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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