once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
