Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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