i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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