i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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