I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
