You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
