id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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