New invention idea: vibrating tampons
lets start a swedish sibling band together
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
