so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sarcasm needs its own font
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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