If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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