Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The Olympian is in my bed
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