you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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