I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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