why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sober January is a disaster.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
