i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
