That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
