Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
