??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
