He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
