just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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