So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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