I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
