I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
