Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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