he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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