Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
