Having a random hookup so left but love u
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
