i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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