Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
