this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
