I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
