Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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