That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
