Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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