I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
