Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
