Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
