All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
