I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sarcasm needs its own font
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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