no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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