It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
