I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
