I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
